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FF: Smooth Burn...

Title: Smooth Burn...

Author: Twisted Darkness

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Emily Prentiss / Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau [Jemily]

You: Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau

Setting: End Of Season 2.

Spoilers: Season 1 - 3.

Rating: M

Warning: Contains girl on girl action, if this offends please stop here.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. They belong to the suits. I just play in other people's sandboxes. Seriously suing me isn't a good idea all you'll get is an IOU and nothing much else.

Beta: Frenhu

Summery: Mix whiskey and clichés together see what happens

Author's Note: Amazingly brittle muse strikes again! I decided to try something different.

The bartender sets your order down in front of you. The best whiskey the bar has. It's expensive but you don't care. You admire the colour in the glass. On the rocks of course. You don't drink whiskey often but something about today makes you want to drink.

You're so far away from the place you call home. You're closer to her. So near yet so far. Squirreled away in a bar somewhere.

You roll it around in your hand, almost hypnotised by the deep amber colour and the way it clings to the glass.

You've got a brunette to burn. You want to burn her away, but you know that is a foolish endeavour. Your desire isn't that easy to forget although you wish you could. Desire is always compared to heat, so why can't it just burn away or the metaphor that fucked up that it doesn't work when you're thinking about burning it away.

Your phone vibrates on your hip. You pick it up, flicking it open. Will. You sigh, wondering why you gave him your number anyway. Maybe you felt sorry for him. Or you wanted something. But you just press the 'reject' button. Add him to the list of people the great Jennifer Jareau has rejected over the years. Maybe he'll get over it, you hope he will.

You're heart sick or maybe love stoned or even lust blinded. You don't really know. You don't understand why you want to burn Emily Prentiss into your senses. Or burn her out of yourself. Burn this desire for her away.

Maybe it's the odd mix of feminine and masculine that she sometimes has, not masculine per se, her clothes are such a mix. Maybe it is the mind that turns you on, the way her mouth fits around the languages that she uses. Maybe it's because she's an ambassador’s daughter and you're a small town girl. Or maybe it's the strength you can feel from her, or even the detachment that you have seen with her. You are not sure why she fascinates you.

You take a sip, the smoothness burns down your throat. You revel in that. It's the first kick, you ate well so the alcohol won't go straight to your head. You don't care who watches you. You're not stupid, you know you're attractive, after all gentlemen do prefer blondes.

You laugh at your own thoughts, shaking your head as you slowly sip the liquid. You're nursing your drink, you don't want to let it go just yet. Your senses are filled with the whiskey, sight of the colour, sound of it moving against the glass, touch of the glass in your hand, the taste of it laying on your tongue and lips, the smell of it as you drink.

You drain the glass of the last your drink. You get off the stool and walk out. You step out onto the side walk, hailing the nearest cab, giving Emily's address. You can't remember how you got her address; did you ask her, or did you ask Penelope to hack in and get it for you?

You con your way up, telling the doorman that you're a friend of Emily's. Not exactly a lie but you imply that you've got something for her. You have but that's not something you want to share with him.

You head up to Emily's apartment, the place is expensive but you know that Emily's old money, but that doesn't put you off.

You knock on her door. You wait, it seems ages before she opens the door. Old baggy sweat pants and a Yale t-shirt, a glass of water in her hand. She looks like she was just about to go to bed. She greets you with a friendly 'JJ' then she asks what you're doing there.

You feed her a line, you don't remember what you said, but she lets you inside. You step inside, she closes the door after you then she walks into her kitchen. You follow her. She puts her glass down.

You come up behind her, she turns her head slightly, and the question dies on her lips. You press up against her, letting her feel what's there. Cliché, but you want your hands free as you fuck her. You won't be able to keep your hands off of her. Maybe you want more, but you're not ready to admit that to yourself, not just yet.

Maybe if you fuck her, then you'll get her out of your head. You've lost count how many times since she arrived that you've woken up in the middle of the night with thoughts of her going through your head. You just figured it out a couple of weeks ago, when you woke up with the feeling of being held. Or how many times your hand's ended up in-between your legs because of it. You've never pinpointed why she is the one that breaks the trend but you don't want to question it too much, because you might lose the feeling and you don't want to do that just yet. Not until you've had her.

You tangle your fingers into her black hair, you gently bend her head to one side, kissing the exposed skin of her neck. You like the taste of her skin, she must had a shower because it tastes clean. You bite down on her pulse point, she jerks a little but her moan surprises you. And her.

You let your grip go and she turns around pulling her to you. She kisses you, and you return the favour, opening your mouth so that she can invade it. She takes her cue and plunges her tongue into your mouth. You moan then suck on it. It tastes of mouthwash and toothpaste. You like it, her hands are now gripping your sides, you let go of her tongue and push her against the sink.

Reluctantly you pull away from her, she opens her eyes, dark brown eyes look at you. They're surprised but you can't help but smile as she swallows. You give her a seductive smile before you kneel down in front of her.

That gets you your full name. Jennifer. “What are you doing Jennifer?” She asks you.

You look back up at her and flash her a winning smile. Telling her, teasing her that if she doesn't know what you're doing she's lived a very sheltered life. Her eyes widen at that. She wants to say something but it gets choked up in her throat as you grip her sweatpants, yanking them down.

You smile as she steps out of them. You gently run your palms up her legs, trying to burn the feeling of her skin and the shape of her legs and hips into your Pavlov reflex. She spreads her legs as she reacts to the caress. You settle your mouth in-between her legs.

The hand that suddenly comes down on the back of your head tells you that you're doing something right. You taste her, she feels good, sticky and hot. You push your tongue inside her while you use your thumb against her clit. The long moan that greets you as you do this is music to your ears. You want to smile smugly but you've got more important things to attend to. Like making Emily Prentiss come. You know that she's getting close because her hip movements are becoming faster and you can taste more of her. You start a more intense rhythm on her clit and you push harder inside her.

Then her hand in your hair tightens. You hear a moan, it's not your name but it's a moan all the same. She freezes, you can feel her tightening around your tongue. Then she orgasms. That feels good. As soon as she relaxes you move away, resting your head against her thigh. You close your eyes, letting your other senses savour this moment. You smile as she comes down. The hand is now stroking your hair,you open your eyes, just relishing the quiet and the feeling that you've just had Emily Prentiss, and this was only a preview of what you can have.

You move back up, kissing her, letting her taste. She threads her fingers into your hair, kissing you hungrily. You move your hands, pushing up her t-shirt. She pulls away and you strip her naked.

Your eyes feast on her. She is beautiful, but you already knew that. However, seeing her like this makes you realise how striking she really is. You move to her, pulling her close, telling her that you think she's beautiful.

She looks at you then blinks, and then you kiss her. Her hands are now pulling at your clothes, she wants you naked. You want to resist for a few more seconds as you move her out of the kitchen.

You back her into the living room making a bee line for the couch, you want her on it. She doesn't resist,just lies down. You pause, kicking off your shoes, ridding yourself of your socks so you're barefoot. You lie on top of her,kissing her. She moves her hands. then pushing you jacket off.

You sit up from her. She follows you up. Her hands are working on your buttons. You arch your back as her lips move across your skin as she reveals it. You lace your fingers into her hair,pulling her back to your mouth.

Her hands move to your shoulders, they're pushing your shirt off. Then you untangle your hands so you can take off your bra.

She pulls away from the kiss, puts a hand on your stomach,while whispering please. “Please let me.” She asks you. Begging you. You still your hands at this and she moves her hands, slowly undoing you bra. She kisses a line from your collarbone to your stomach. She smiles at you and you return the smile. Then you undo your belt and pop the button. She pushes your hands away and she yanks the zipper down, you kiss her.

You pull at your own trousers, managing to get them off. Now you are naked, so is she. You pull away from the kiss, moving down so that you can kiss her neck. You're in no hurry to be inside her, you just want to savour the moment.

She rests her hands against your shoulder, she hasn't said a word yet. You like to hear her voice even saying your name. You pull away, that gets you a whimper. Your name, Emily whimpers it. You look back at her. The hands move down.

Her eyes watch her hands, they seem hypnotised by the movement. They seem so respectful. Tender. Her lips purse then she leans in, kissing the skin just above your breasts. Almost in-between your collarbone. You shiver as she licks your collarbone. You whimper, she smiles then continues. She starts to press kisses against your skin. You shiver as she kisses a path to your breasts. She kisses across to your left breast, while her hand cups the right. She teases you, gently pinching your nipple while she caresses the other one with her tongue.

You moan her name, in the back of your throat. Low enough for her to hear and she smiles around your breast as she changes breasts. Now she's pulling your left nipple while she teases your right. You move your hands, digging your fingers into her hair because you want to keep her there.

Then Emily pulls away. You unwind your fingers from her hair. You let them fall, but you manage to stroke her cheek as you remove your fingers. Emily looks back up at you, she shyly bows her head. You ask her if she's ready. She looks back at you,it's all up to her. You can wait, explore more of the skin and body under you. Or let her explore more of you. You don't know which would be better. She spreads her legs, guiding you into her. You watch as her head lolls back, she bites her lip.

You bend your head again, pressing kisses against her neck, you love the way she tastes. You slowly start to move, her hands in join in with the rhythm you've set, they dig into your hips. Flexing with the motion of your hips. You hiss as the sting works its way into your mind. You move your hand, circle her clit as you continue the motion with your hips.

You hear you name on her lips. She asks for more, harder. She asks you not to stop. You move harder against her. Something flares inside you, you want her to feel this. You want Emily to feel it, you want to make her weak in a sense. Just the way she makes you tremble.

With all the conflicted thoughts about her, the way she is, you want to possess her just for this moment, if that's all you get. You want her to feel this. Maybe you want her to share the burn. Maybe you'll make her burn for you. That makes you smile. You're burning for her now.

You bend your head, extending your tongue to trace patterns on the pale skin underneath you. You tease the nipples in front of you, gently licking the crinkled skin before engulfing it in your mouth.

You can feel her reacting underneath you, she's urging you on. You can feel her tensing. You press hard against her clit before withdrawing almost to the tip. She pleads you because she's on the edge, and you know this.

You pull away from her breasts and ask her what she wants. She begs you again, asking for you to fuck her. You like the word fuck coming from her lips. She wants to come, and she wants you to make her come.

You smirk at her discomfort. Then you lean down whispering against her lips. “Be careful what you wish for.”

She frowns, then before she can ask what you mean,you enter her hard, pressing against her clit. You want to watch her come and she doesn't disappoint. She arches her back, forcing you deeper inside her. Her teeth bite her lip and her eyes close.

You continue, riding out her orgasm. Is it so bad that you want to do this again? You wonder as you watch her reaction. It's almost intoxicating. Scratch that. It is intoxicating. Enthralling. You smile as the words jumble up in your head.

Emily relaxes, she blinks slowly. She doesn't say a word, but she kisses you so sweetly. You kiss her back, not making any move to withdraw from her. You just want to stay there as long as possible.

Emily whispers, it's a gentle plea. To go upstairs, to her bedroom. She gives you a seductive smile which does interesting things to your pulse. You nod, pushing yourself up and distancing yourself from her. You're warmed up, you want more. You're tingling.

You slide off the sofa, standing there watching her, you can't help but watch. She's so graceful, way that she moves; it's not coy, a little seductive, she swings her legs around. She stands up, taking your hand. Leading you.

You say ‘beautiful’. Looking towards the window, you say that you can see why she lives here. The view. It's breath-taking.

Emily ducks her head slightly, she calls it bittersweet. She waves a hand around to her apartment. “Doesn't mean that I'm happy.” She tells you. There's something melcholy in that statement.

You want to ask more questions, but she takes charge and now she kisses you. You let her, you know that she doesn't want to talk about it. You find that distracting but you don't want to lose thas feeling.

Then you feel her push you. The cool shock of the window against your back makes you shiver. Then she pulls away.

She lets her eyes wander, but you feel like she's got her hands over you. You move your hands, cupping her face, you don't kiss her but you whisper that you want her again. You utter. “Please.”

She smiles, and then she kisses you gently. She grasps your wrists pushing them above your head as she kisses you slowly. You kiss her back, enjoying the different sensations, the cold window on your back, her skin against yours.

Emily pulls away from you. You sigh, then she moves her mouth to your neck. You close your eyes, letting her lips move over your skin. You swallow as she moves her mouth down to your shoulders. Her hands are now resting on your hips. You want to have her again. You move your hands to her hair, pulling her back to your mouth.

She doesn't resist. You devour her mouth again. Turning her around so that you can press her against the cool window, you feel the shiver go down her body as it reacts to the chill. You move your hands, encouraging her to spread her legs again.

Emily pulls away, there's a tiny half smile on her face. She teases you. “Not that easily satisfied, are you Jennifer?” She purrs out your name.

You smile at her tease. “Wouldn't you like to know Emily?” You reply smiling. “Always wanted to fuck someone against a window. And this is perfect.” You say, kissing Emily before she can reply.

Her hands move, they move to your hips guiding you inside her again, as soon as you're inside, her hands move again into your hair.

You look at her, your eyes never stray from her face. Emily looks so beautiful. Something about the way the lights are reflecting against her skin, you move slowly. You're savouring this moment, making it last. Slow burn.

She pulls you into a kiss. The kiss is slow. You let her tease your mouth open, you moan low against her lips. Emily pushes her tongue inside your mouth. The kiss changes from slow to hungry but you don't speed up your hips. Fucking Emily Prentiss up against a window, you know how you're going to do. There's nothing going to change how you want to do it.

Emily pulls away, she turns her head, and you bury your head into her neck, pushing harder against her. Trying to go deeper inside her. Her hands are now raking down your back, you jolt your hips, and your back feels incredibly sensitive. Her nails feel so good, you bite her neck as you start to increase the speed of your thrusts. You can feel the orgasm building inside you. You want to come. You need to come.

Emily moves her hands back to your hair, she pulls you away from her neck. There's a smile on her face, she can feel it as well. She kisses you, that's all it takes. You come. You can feel it streaking through your body, you rip your mouth away from hers. The moan starts low but you hear it getting louder. It sounds foreign to your ears. You couldn't tell what you're actually saying if you're saying anything at all. But her moan brings you back. You slump against her.

The only sound is the ragged breathing as you both try to calm down. You find yourself smiling.

Emily chuckles softly. “Proud of yourself Jay-J?” She teases you, smirking, her eyes dancing with amusement.

You laugh, then you kiss her gently. Emily kisses you back. This time she pulls back. You blink slowly.

Emily puts a finger to you lips. She smiles. “Time to go upstairs. This time there's nothing to distract us.” She adds softly.

You blush but she just laughs. You pull away from her, Emily takes your hand, leading you up the stairs.

You watch her, studying the lines of her back. Something's drawing your eyes to her. You want to study all over her. Make the 3D picture of her just in case this is all you have. This moment. This night. These moments of success.

You want to turn her into your own private movie, the reels in your head. Comparing the fantasy to the reality. Let them merge.

Your feet now take in the carpet. It feels softer under your feet. Emily still has her back to you. You stop, you let go of her hand, you put your hand on her hip, stopping her, then you move closer, nuzzling into her hair. She's just washed it,smells lovely but you can't seem to id any of the smells. You find that you don't really care.

Emily relaxes as you put your arms around her waist. Pulling her close, you move your hand, lifting your head up and gently moving Emily's hair over to her left shoulder so you can kiss her neck.

Emily shivers as you kiss her there, while returning your hand to her waist so she doesn't squirm away while you're kissing her.

It's interesting, you think, as you move your mouth down. Letting it map the skin, again feeding that lovely Pavlov sense. Let that show reel take this in. Let you memorise this.

You reach the small of her back. Emily's breathing is hitching. You smile at that, then you straighten up.

Then Emily twists in your arms, she pulls you close again. She murmurs tease. You give her a smirk then add that she likes it.

Emily smiles then she moves her hand, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. She traces your cheek then your jaw. She leans in, kissing your ear, whispering. “You're right. But you like as much.” She moves her lips. Kissing across your cheekbone.

You let her. Closing you eyes as her hand comes up, it rests against your cheek. Holding you to her lips. She nuzzles your cheek. You shiver as the tip of her tongue traces a line over your face.

She whispers again. “Like that Jennifer?” You nod. “Because I like it too.” She confides. “You're so beautiful.” She adds as she moves away.

You open your eyes to see her standing in front of you. You swallow. Emily smiles at you, she moves. You feel her teeth against your pulse point. That makes you gasp. You feel Emily smile. She starts to nip at your skin, using just the right amount of pressure to make you squirm. Sharp teeth and soft tongue.

She has a very talented mouth. You think absently as Emily's mouth makes its way down your torso. You close your eyes, your fingers are winding into her hair, letting you guide her.

Then she straightens up, you let your grip loosen. Emily kisses you, then tells you to lie down on the bed.

You turn to look at the bed. It’s a queen sized bed. The pillows are dark blue which matches the covers. The headboard looks like solid oak. It has pillars, wide enough to wrap a hand around. You find yourself smiling at that. You grasp the covers yanking them open, revealing white sheets underneath. You look towards Emily again and you smirk at her.

Emily returns your smirk as you make a show of getting on the bed and lying on your back. You lie there waiting for Emily. You put your hands underneath your head and look at her, taunting her with a smirk.

Emily lets her eyes rake over you. But then she gets up on the bed. She straddles your stomach. You can feel how wet she is. The thought of being inside her again makes you move, you try to sit up but she firmly pushes you back down. She tells you no. That you're not getting your way this time.

You pout. But she kisses you, distracting you while she moves your hands. She pushes them over your head, pulling away to whisper that you need to keep there. You just nod.

Emily smiles then she lifts herself up. Your eyes widen as she takes the toy inside her. Adjusting herself so she can find the most comfortable position. You can't help but buck your hips as she moves down. Her head drops, the long black hair falling into her face. It gives her an almost shy look, but you know better. Emily Prentiss is anything but shy. But it feels sexier the way her face is hidden away from your eyes. You want to see everything.

Emily drives her hips down hard, you gasp as she does this. You close your eyes as your grip tightens around the slats. You don't care that your nails bite into your own palms. All you care about is Emily and her movements. Her moans, her sound, her smell. You don't care if you go blind at this moment as long as you can have the image of Emily Prentiss straddling you - riding you - burning into your senses.

You bite your lip as you feel nails drag down your torso, from just underneath your breasts to your belly button. You open your eyes to see Emily, one hand pressed against your stomach as the other working in-between her own legs. It's blatantly sexual and you love it. You know that nothing will come close to this image.

Emily's moving harder, deeper against you. The hand that was resting against your stomach is pulled back, playing with her right breast. You want to sit up so you can help her but she just looks down at you. No. She whispers, her voice is barely audible and you can't help but feel your own orgasm starting to build, Emily's not too far behind. You can feel her tightening. Her hips are moving faster, her hand is moving too. The hand at her breast is now palming it digging into the soft flesh. The image is doing wonders for you.

You arch your back as you come. Thrusting hard into her, she then collapses onto you, knocking the wind out of you as she kisses you hungrily while she comes a few seconds later.

You pull away gasping for air as she settles her head, resting it on your shoulder. Breathing hard, you take your hands off the slats, curling and uncurling your fingers just to get some feeling back in your fingers.

You wrap your arms around her, then flip her onto her back. She groans softly as you push yourself up. You're still inside her. You press a kiss against her forehead. “Trust me.” You say.

Emily opens her eyes, you can't tell where the brown starts and the black finishes. She's flushed, she licks her lips. You smile at her, putting your finger to her lips. “Trust me Emily. Please.” You repeat.

Emily nods. “I trust you Jennifer.” Her voice is soft, husky. It almost sounds strained.

You take her wrists and gently put them onto the pillow, wrapping her fingers around the slats. Then you move your hands to her hips. You ask her to wrap her legs around your waist.

Emily nods then does what you asked. This changes the angle. You smile as she bites her lip.

”Don't Emily. I want to hear you. Keep your hands above your head.” You tell her.

She releases the bite and nods. You start moving. Slowly. You want to make sure that she won't be sitting easily tomorrow but want to take pride about that. Because you want her to be completely fucked senseless.

Emily starts to move against you. You seem to have found a rhythm that she likes. You can't help but watch the way her torso moves. This night will probably fuel some many wet dreams or fantasies for the next few weeks. You have a feeling that you will be staring at Emily for the next few days, even if you're working....

Emily hisses. “Kiss me J-Jay.” She pleads with you. You don't deny her. You push up a little harder and then kiss her. You use your weight pushing her down so you can ravish her mouth. You bite her lip, sucking it into your mouth, nibbling on it. Then you let go of it, before you cover her mouth again. Emily lifts her head, you push your tongue into her mouth. Your hands are now gripping her hips, you don't care if you leave marks. All you want to make her see stars.

This will probably be the last act of the night so you're going to make sure Emily will enjoy this. And you want her to come hard.

You start to throw your weight behind your thrusts. The sound of your breathing is the only noise, even louder than the squeaking of the bed.

You break off the kiss, leaning up, looking into Emily's eyes. Her mouth is swollen but you want to see her come this time.

”Don't close your eyes.” You say. Emily's eyes move back yours, you know that you want to see her.

Emily's eyes widen as she sees something in your eyes. You don't shy away from what you feel. You know that this might have muddied the waters but you don't really care anymore. Emily makes you feel all these emotions and you don't want to scare her. But you've complicated things enough by coming here tonight and you don't want to regret this intimacy.

You can feel her tensing, the muscles bunching, she's digging her heels harder into your back. You move your left hand and you press your thumb against her clit. You know that she needs this. And so do you. You want her to see this. “Don't look away from me Emily.” You say.

Her eyes lock on yours and that's all it takes. You come a few seconds later, so does she. It sends you reeling but you're still looking at her, still moving. Prolonging the pleasure.

There is only the sound of Emily breathing hard, you're panting as well as you drop down against her. Her legs unwrap from your back. You remove your hand from in-between her legs. You also move your hand from her hip, you taste her on your skin. You clean her essence of your hand, and then you press a kiss against her heart.

Emily gasps. “Jennifer.”

You reach up and put a finger to her lip. “Sh. Don't say a word.” You tangle your fingers into her hair, pushing the strands away from her face, you let your fingers move, stroking over her face, you want to memorise this. This picture of her, so content, satisfied. Just in case this is the last time and she pushes you away. If she considers this just a one night stand. Oddly the rejection doesn't worry you as much as if had happened earlier in the night. After all, you're not even sure that you want more. No, that's wrong. You need more. Want has become need.

You still want to possess her, but the lust that flared when you were having sex has mellowed, you still want her. You admit to yourself that having Emily Prentiss, touching her, and tasting her, fucking her, teasing her, tormenting her felt good, better than you have ever thought it would be. And you know why, because it's with her. Emily. Maybe it's the lust talking but you liked it a lot. Something makes you feel so connected to her.

Such boundless pleasure in this night.

You lean up and press a kiss to her forehead. You withdraw from her, you don't want too but you're tired, and she's having trouble keeping her eyes open as well. You collapse on the other side of the bed. You pull the covers over yourself.

You turn away from her and close your eyes. Everything can wait. Wait until the smooth burn has gone. Maybe you'll still have her, maybe not. You're not sure, but you want more, you need more, the burn maybe going but it hasn't extinguished the way you feel. The opposite has happened, the flame has started to burn harder. You're burning for her, you know this in your heart and you keep it close.

It's up to her now.

Fin

Comments

( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
heart_never
Apr. 12th, 2010 02:35 pm (UTC)
Holy Hell
Thats has to be the hottest fic i've read in a very long time, its a masterpiece and i'm sure i'll be re-reading this many times in the weeks to come :D Thankyou so much for writing it, absolute brilliance :D
the_dark_zodiac
Apr. 12th, 2010 03:14 pm (UTC)
Re: Holy Hell
Thanks! Seriously thanks for reviewing.

tdz.
lynders11
Apr. 12th, 2010 03:26 pm (UTC)
Good freaking lord. That was...incredible. Well done you! I agree, I think its been awhile since I have read a fic quite that...stimulating. :D Is this a one-shot or are you thinking of continuing it to show their reactions to each other (and to Emilys inevitable difficulties walking) in the morning? Either way, this was fantastic. Well done. :)
the_dark_zodiac
Apr. 12th, 2010 03:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Not it's not a one shot. This is the first of my series of 'Smooth Burn', I have 3 other 'Smooth Burn' fics to write. There will be a follow up which deals with Emily's feelings. They were supposed to be in a double header but I thought I'd post this first.

tdz.
steppenwolf_20
Apr. 12th, 2010 03:31 pm (UTC)
Now this is definitely a story I will read again!
Insanely hot. But the sentence I liked most was almost at the beginning.
Maybe it is the mind that turns you on, the way her mouth fits around the languages that she uses.

I also really liked the images you used, JJ's feelings and how she wants to savor the moment, not knowing if this could last. How the drinks the whiskey, the feel of the glass at her back or the feel of the carpet under her feet. Great job.

There's just one thing I'm not sure about... when did the "toy" get into the story? Did I miss something?

Oh and I liked the POV you used. I know it's really hard to write that way.
the_dark_zodiac
Apr. 12th, 2010 03:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Yeah, I think Emily has a really nice mouth ;D.

Yeah, I wanted to put everything into what JJ was feeling.

You come up behind her, she turns her head slightly, and the question dies on her lips. You press up against her, letting her feel what's there. Cliché, but you want your hands free as you fuck her. You won't be able to keep your hands off of her. This was where I refered to the 'toy', I guess it was little vague sorry!

Thank you, yeah I was unsure that I was getting it right.

Thank you everyone for reviewing!

tdz.
(no subject) - steppenwolf_20 - Apr. 12th, 2010 04:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - the_dark_zodiac - Apr. 12th, 2010 05:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - steppenwolf_20 - Apr. 12th, 2010 05:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
sstmyer
Apr. 12th, 2010 03:50 pm (UTC)
Wow
That was just... wow! It oozed with sexiness. It was also incredibly well written. Can't wait for the other fics.
the_dark_zodiac
Apr. 12th, 2010 03:56 pm (UTC)
Re: Wow
Thank you. I hope I don't disappoint.

This is only my second published E/JJ fic, so everyone who's reviewing...thank you so much.

tdz.
frenhu
Apr. 12th, 2010 03:53 pm (UTC)
Sweetie, anytime I read this I'm amazed! Sorry it took so long for me to beta it!!

But now we need that second part and the chapter after that as well! And soon!! What do you say to that? :D
the_dark_zodiac
Apr. 12th, 2010 04:02 pm (UTC)
*hugs*

It's OK that you took so long, I'm just happy you could beta for me, you really helped improve this fic.

I promise that I will start writing the follow up, and I will publish Phantasm's first chapter. Now the Kink's over I can return to my writting [and I have forgotten I own you some Sassy ;D]

Thank you for reviewing.

tdz.
i_fly_solo
Apr. 12th, 2010 08:23 pm (UTC)
Oh my GOD. This is seriously one of the best pieces of fanfiction I have read in a very long time (and not just because it was smokin' hot, either - the emotionality and and dialogue was totally spot on and the whole thing was just refreshingly unique). I am so glad it's the beginning of a series!

Also - this is your second Emily/JJ fic, you say? Could we maybe have a link to your first one?
the_dark_zodiac
Apr. 13th, 2010 12:23 pm (UTC)
Ah thank you. Yeah, I've got Emily's reaction to write and another 3 for the other fandoms I write for. I was a little worried that I wouldn't get it right 'cause it's a kinda expermental thing for me.

http://community.livejournal.com/the_4_elements/3370.html <- My first punlished E/JJ piece. Aybss Embrances.

Thank you for reviewing.

tdz.
(Deleted comment)
the_dark_zodiac
Apr. 13th, 2010 12:25 pm (UTC)
LOL. Thanks for reviewing.

tdz.
meatisadelicacy
Apr. 13th, 2010 12:30 am (UTC)
Jesus, Mary and Joseph
Hot. That was so hot. I have no other words. Just hot.
the_dark_zodiac
Apr. 13th, 2010 12:25 pm (UTC)
Re: Jesus, Mary and Joseph
Aw thank you. Nice icon btw.

Thanks for reviewing.

tdz.
(Anonymous)
Apr. 14th, 2010 05:20 am (UTC)
Oh my god this was awesome. Talk about hot. Man why can't JJ show up at my door like that. ::fingers crossed it happens some day::

This was a great story and I for one can't wait to see the next instalments and how Emily handles this new turn of events. Please feed the muse so she will let you write more.
the_dark_zodiac
Apr. 14th, 2010 07:25 am (UTC)
Thank you. Yeah, JJ's full of surprises ;D.

Let's just say there's a lot to be done ;D.

Thank you for reviewing.

tdz.
malexfaith
Apr. 17th, 2010 10:45 am (UTC)
Awesome writing. You definitely know how to capture the audience. Very enjoyable, thanks heaps for sharing
the_dark_zodiac
Apr. 17th, 2010 11:46 am (UTC)
Thank you.

It's fun to share ;D.

Thanks for reviewing.

tdz.
jareaulover
Apr. 23rd, 2010 03:38 pm (UTC)
That was fantastic, great writing and EXTREMELY hot!!
the_dark_zodiac
Apr. 26th, 2010 08:56 am (UTC)
Thank you!

Thanks for reviewing.
worst_liar_ever
May. 6th, 2010 12:40 pm (UTC)
Oh man, this is one of the hottest things i have ever read. Sheesh.
I love the JJ POV. it was nice to see things through her eyes. It's totally hot that she is the dominating one.

Wow...gonna read it again! I see in the comments this is not a one-off. JOY! i can't wait for more.
the_dark_zodiac
May. 10th, 2010 09:25 am (UTC)
Thank you. Yeah, I like getting into JJ's head, it's fun.

Thank you, yeaqh there's Emily's one to write as well as the other 3 SBs I've written for my other pairings.

Thank you for reviewing.
liberty_stewart
May. 9th, 2010 06:21 am (UTC)
Wow talk about a smut fic. Long and interesting. Agree with worst liar ever, it's totally hot that JJ is the dominating one.
the_dark_zodiac
May. 10th, 2010 09:27 am (UTC)
Thank you, I seemingly like writing long pieces because there's so much to be done.

I think JJ has something about her...I can't describe it but just makes me think that there's more to her than meets the eye.

Thank you for reviewing.

tdz.
av8rwinn
Jun. 13th, 2010 06:01 am (UTC)
Shit. Holy gaga. Tell me there will be more to come.
( 30 comments — Leave a comment )